I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I want a musical about memes.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
