Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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