well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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