I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
