I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
