Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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