But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
