you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
