I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize