let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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