it's not cheating when I paid for it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
As shirtless as possible
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
