You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
