The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
