I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
