I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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