Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize