Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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