summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize