State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize