this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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