Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
send nudes
from the living room?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
