Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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