yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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