he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
