ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i was born a porn star she said
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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