Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
