I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
