is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
