people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you inspire me to be a worse person
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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