i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
