I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
