he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
