maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
