i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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