If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
