apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I licked your asshole in confidence.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
