Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize