FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
