he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
