Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
