It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
