Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
