Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
