oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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