i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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