Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i out mim tonsoeep
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