I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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