I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
