I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
