THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
