i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
