remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I look better un-naked...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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