i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Who died my cat blue again?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
