why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
