Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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