Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
