your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
