No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
