White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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