i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
