Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
