she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize