tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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