Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize