at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
