he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So here I am, sexting at work.
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