just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
