Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Randomize
