i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
