Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
