I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
