I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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