Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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