my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
